Double-edged Sword.

I was talking to a vendor at my job the other day when he mentioned to take a look at AT&T's 1993 advertisement "You Will." As soon as we stopped talking, I went back to my desk and completely immersed myself back in my work.

It wasn't until I was on the train that I realized I hadn't looked at the ad yet. I excitedly went to YouTube on my phone and watched as series of events in the advertisement mimicked much of what has happened the (almost) 2 decades.

Take a look: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TZb0avfQme8

It's remarkable just how much AT&T predicted back then. I look back at those advertisements and realize how far technology has really come. If we're halfway across the world from our loved ones, we can jump on Skype and see them within seconds. If we're lost, we can simply look up our location on a map on our phones. If a natural disaster happens, we can search for the information ourselves, rather than waiting for the broadcast news to tell us.

All these conveniences make our lives seamlessly easier and integrated. I think it's something we often take for granted. This technology is unheard of in some countries, yet it is at our fingertips every minute of every day. Although I am thankful for this and although I should be since I work in advertising, I often wonder back to the days when this technology wasn't readily available.

Every day I walk through Chicago or sit on public transportation, I judge those around me whose eyes are peeled to their iPhone screens, or whose fingers are latched closely to their iPads. But then I come out of my judgement and realize, shit, I'm one of those people.

I didn't obtain a smart phone until May of this year, and honestly, I was just fine without a smartphone before I got it. However, now that I have my iPhone, I'm not sure I could live without it. It's usually never more than 10 feet away from me. But WHY? Am I afraid I'm going to miss an important text? Am I afraid someone may look through my phone? Do I simply just have separation anxiety? It's sad, really.

There are days I realize how pathetic I'm being and I leave my phone somewhere in the house I know I won't be for awhile. Some days, I just need to re-boot. I often envy those countries that don't have the technology we have. I miss the days when people would get together to catch up instead of doing it through social media. I miss the days when going to the library was considered a pastime. I miss the days when you had to call collect. I miss the days when it wasn't odd to strike up a conversation with a stranger. I miss the days we all knew how to talk to others casually.

Technology has done so much harm to our worlds. It's taken the personal and created the impersonal. It's taken traditional and created digital. It's taken lives and created hunger-driven techies.

But, technology's double-edged sword has done a lot of good. It's brought breaking news to our attention within seconds. It's brought new media platforms that were not readily available a decade ago. It's brought long-lost souls together.

Technology was almost correctly predicted almost 20 years ago. I can only imagine the technology we will have 20 years from now. It's exciting, but also scary. This double-edged sword we call technology is going to continue to slice into our lives, whether it be good or bad. All we can do is sit back and watch it all unfold and decide what path we take.

With sharp edges and convenient slices,

The Adventures of an Interview...

So this is way overdue, but after reading my friend Molly's blog about her interview mishaps, I realized I had to share mine.

Let's rewind to 2 weeks ago. It was Tuesday, May 24. I had a second interview for my current employer. I couldn't decide if I wanted to drive downtown, or take the train as I had previously for my first interview. I decided on the drive, since I was going to a Cubs game later that night with my friend. I decided to park on his street and then take the L into the city, that would drop me off a block from the office. Perfect!

I left 2 1/2 hours early, just to be on the safe side. As many as you may or may not know, I have some of the worst luck of ALL time. When I want things to go my way, they never seem to do so. And of course, I was expecting leaving 2 1/2 hours early was plenty enough time, when I could realistically make it downtown in a half hour without traffic. Well, there was traffic. Not much, but still put me back at least 15 minutes. Great....

The plot thickens. My friend had told me I would have no problem finding free parking on his street. This is a lie. I finally found his new apartment and began looking for spots I could squeeze my '01 Oldsmobile Intrigue in (which, by the way, is my dad's old car). It has a dent on the front right side - not from me, because I've never gotten into an accident, nor gotten a ticket - he got it from hitting a snow bank. And he calls himself a retired police officer.

Anyways, parking was impossible. There were a few maybes, but they happened to be spots in between 2 different cars and I was not about to parallel park on a one-way street with cars driving behind me. Needless to say, I don't think I've even parallel parked correctly since my driving test when I was 16. I kept circling blocks (which all happen to be one way streets - even better!) and finally got out to just pay for parking. Instead of being a normal person and getting out the driver's side, I decided to climb over and get out the passenger side. Little did I know my little black blazer fell out (never saw it) and I realized parking was only for 2 hours. That wouldn't work. By this time, it was 3:15. Yeah, totally wasted an hour and 15 minutes. I got back in my car and drove off.

I FINALLY found a spot I could park into on my friend's street, smack dab in front of his apartment. YES! Now all I had to do was just find the L station. I looked on Google Maps and reached to grab my things. I realized my blazer is nowhere to be found. You have got to be kidding me...

Yep. It had fallen out and I drove away with it helplessly laying on the filthy curb. So, after the success of finding a spot, I reluctantly gave it up and sped heedlessly through town to (hopefully) collect my blazer. What do you know, it's nowhere to be found. I could NOT go into an interview with a sleeveless shirt. I got out of my car (the driver's side this time) and like a crazy person, asked the man in the car in front of me if he's seen my poor blazer. He said yes and pulled it out of his van (which looks similar to those creepy, windowless vans). Um, okay? I wondered what he was going to do with it. Give it to his wife? Donate it? Keep it for himself? Whatever.

I sped, once again, back to the street I had parked on before, praying to God that the spot I had was still there. And it was! THANK GOD. I then began running to the L station. Once I got there, I had to wait 10 minutes for the L to actually show up. It was now 4:05.

Needless to say, I didn't get to the office until 4:40 - 10 minutes late. I thought to myself, I'm done for. Absolutely done for. I left the interview thinking I was going to get a reject letter.

But then the news came the very next day. I got it!

Moral of the story - crappy things may happen to us and delay us, but sometimes, life has a funny way of working itself out. And I'm so glad it did. Guess I need a little bad luck to get some great luck.

On another note, I happened to lose my sunglasses and my ring today.

With craziness and luck,

An Unexpected Surprise

Today was a beautiful day - a little chillier than usual - but nevertheless, a beautiful day.

And I didn't really take the time to get outside and enjoy it. I've been wallowing in self-pity for reasons that will go unmentioned. I tossed and turned all last night, dreaming about things I wish I didn't dream about. Anyways, I napped today, trying to make up for the lost sleep from last night. I then visited my grandma at the nursing home, which in itself is downright depressing. To see my grandma at 96 years old, her memory completely erased, and unable to barely feed herself pains me to my inner core. I didn't feel like myself today.

When I got home, my dad went out to the mailbox to get today's mail (that by the way, came extremely more late than usual). He came to my room - "Mail Delivery!" as he said. He handed me two envelopes. One of which was graduation pictures that I could honestly care less about. I have enough of those already. But the second envelope was addressed to me, with no return address. I figured it was a neighbor sending some money for graduation. That would have been nice. But it was better.

As I opened the envelope, I knew exactly what it was. It was the letter I had written myself four years ago in my British Literature class when I was a senior in high school. At the time, my teacher (who was actually student teaching at the time) told us on the last day of high school to get out a piece of paper out and a pen. I was confused. This better not be a last minute quiz, I thought. No. It wasn't. She told us to write a letter to our future selves. She promised to send them to us four years later when we were seniors in college.

Over the past four years, I've wondered about that letter. What did I write? Would I ever see that letter again? I honestly thought the letter was long gone. After all, how would a twenty-something remember to send 25 students letters four years later? She proved me wrong.

I anxiously unfolded my letter and began reading. It's amazing to see how much I've changed, but also stayed the same. I first go over my high school accomplishments - playing basketball and running track, taking AP classes (none of which I got credit for..lame), being in NHS and Students of Service and Teen Court, as well as holding four different jobs.

I then talk about the meaning of love. How I found love in high school and how I got hurt and suffered a major heartbreak. In my letter, I say that I hope I found someone who treats me right and that I'm happy with. I've had my fair share of great guys I've dated over the years, so I think that part applies to each of them.

My goals are the next part I mention. Ever since I was little, I thought I was going to be a writer. As a senior in high school, I aimed to be a famous journalist working at a newspaper, or a magazine, or as a news reporter for a television station. Funny how that completely changed. I quickly learned journalism was not for me, and I have found what makes me happy. Advertising. I am so excited to embark on my new journey working at a big-time media agency downtown.

My family and friends were the most important thing to me at the time. And they still remain that to me today. Many of the friends I listed in my letter are ones I continue to consider my best friends. I know that will never change. Those I lost contact with, I know it's meant to be. Because throughout college, I met some of the best friends I have ever had that I will continue to cherish the rest of my life.

Lastly, I talk about my journey to college. I tell myself to have fun because I'm too hard on myself a lot of the times. I can tell in my letter that I'm scared to start a new chapter with college, but I'm even more excited. I tell myself that I hope I've graduated college, am beginning my career, and thinking about a family. Uh...that all sounds great, minus the whole family part. Gotta find the man first!

Anyways, as corny as it is, I got tears after reading the letter. After the miserable day I had, this was just the thing I needed to make me feel better. After reading everything I had to say as an 18 year old senior, I know that as a 22 year old, I've accomplished much of what I wanted to four years ago. I still want to travel and see the world, but I know the time will come for that.

The teacher gave us the option to write another letter and she will send it to us in four more years. I didn't even have to think about it. I'm going to do it. And I offer a proposition for all you readers out there - think about writing yourself a letter. Hide it from yourself in a place you won't find it or look for it for a few years. You would be amazed how much you will have changed and blossomed when the time comes for you to find that letter.

With letters and the future,

The Show Goes On

I'm an official alumnus from the University of Illinois as of May 14, 2011. Um, what? Where has the time gone? As I sat in my seat during commencement, I rewound all the memories over the past four years and wondered how it all led to that day. I reminsced my accomplishments, the nights out with my friends, the long days and nights of studying, the sporting events, and in entirety, my college experience.

Many don't know that I fought my way to U of I. My dad was pretty adamant about me attending the community college near my house. I knew that route wasn't for me so I went behind his back, accepted to U of I, and paid my deposit for the dorm. Needless to say, he wasn't too happy when he found out. But thanks to my Mom, she decided to help me with my college loans and from there, the rest is history.

I arrived as a freshman more excited than I had ever been. It was my time to shine, my time to succeed, my time to discover myself and the path I would take to the future. The thing I wanted to do the rest of my life turned out to be not for me. I waved good-bye to journalism and embraced advertising. Never would I have thought the field would make as much of an impact on my life that it has. I've found my calling (or so I think).

The last four years have been a whirlwind full of laughter, tears, stress, smiles, and bittersweet memories (that may or may not be remembered). I just can't believe it's all over. The last week, I was praying Ashton Kutcher would just pop out and yell, "You just got PUNKed!" Too bad this is real life.

The future is hazy. I thought I knew what I wanted, but now it's all a little confusing, frustrating, and scary. I really don't know where to go from here and I certainly don't know how to feel at this crossroad in my life. But I know I'm not alone. Some of us are moving halfway across the country to follow our dreams. Some of us are starting our first job - maybe our dream job, maybe one we've settled for. Some of us are preparing for even more school ahead. Some of us are just crusing through this thing we call life until we figure out what the hell we want.

I learned a lot at U of I, in and out of the classroom. But the most profound thing I learned there was to truly follow your dreams. Don't pick the job you know you won't like just because it pays more. Don't listen to anyone but yourself. Don't ever settle for anything. Do what you want and do what makes you happy.

I will admit I cried during my graduation. I couldn't help it. I've followed my dreams thus far - hit some bumps along the road and maybe didn't always get what I want - but the point is I've aimed high and succeeded and that is something I can be proud of. U of I not only gave me that confidence, but gave me the best of friends.

You all know who you are. As cliche as it all sounds, I wouldn't be the person I am today if I had not met each and every one of you that remain dear to my heart. You each made my experience at college so unique, exhiliarating, and memorable. I cannot thank you enough. And it saddens me to know that many of the people that have touched my life, I won't be seeing on a daily, weekly, or even monthly basis. It could be a yearly basis now, if not ever again.

So here I am. An alumnus of U of I. Not really sure what my future holds. Not really sure where my path will take me. Not really sure what I want. All I know is I'm going to keep taking deep breaths, knowing that everything will happen the way it is supposed to. Because after all, as Lupe Fiasco would say it, "the show goes on."

With deep breaths and wonder,

A Little About Me.

"Who are you?"

I’m Kelly Nash. My name just kinda flows, so most people always refer to me as “KellyNash” as if my name is just one word. Feel free to call me that (or any of my other nicknames: Kel, KellyBelly, KayNay, K-Nash, K-Nashty; they could literally go on forever).

I’m known for my sappy comments (people love to make fun of me for this), my clumsiness (I trip over everything), my blondness (even though I’m not a real blonde), laughing at my own jokes (when no one else thinks they’re funny), and being born with 11 fingers and 11 toes (yes, this is true).

Over the years, I’ve realized a few valuable things about myself. I can be negative at times, but I have a positive outlook on life. I can be selfish about what I want to do and what I want, but I will always put others before myself. I sometimes feel like I’m not good enough, but I will always stand up for myself and for what I believe in. I fight with my dad the most out of anyone in this world, but that’s only because he and I are exactly alike. I guard my heart and am afraid of getting hurt, but I will open up when I think the time is right. I sometimes have the worst luck, but then my lucky moments make me appreciate every moment I do have.

I picked up “Green Eggs and Ham” by Dr. Seuss and read it cover to cover before I turned 3 years old. I decided in just the 5th grade that I was going to write a book someday and even then began scribbling down ideas to get started. By the 7th grade, I already knew I was going to push to go away to college; where I would actually go didn’t present itself until my senior year of high school. My freshman year at the University of Illinois was when I decided to become an advertising major, even though I knew absolutely nothing about it; my sophomore year, I realized I was destined for the field. It was also my sophomore year that I decided to sit down, exert my emotions, and dive into writing an actual book that I hope to get published in the near future. Now, it's the end of my senior year and in just a few short weeks, I will begin my journey of ‘big girl’ world.

Needless to say, if you were to ask me what one word I would choose to describe myself, I would tell you that I am determined.

I’m determined to set myself apart from the crowd. I’m a leader, not a follower. I like to scare myself a little and push myself to limits I didn’t think I could do.

I’m determined to make a difference. I know I can’t make a dent in the problems of this world, but I can make a dent in the lives of my family and friends. I put my all into spending time with my family and being there for my friends.

I’m determined to live life to the fullest. I treasure each moment and try to go above and beyond with the experiences I have. I also want to explore the world and break free of my comfort zone.

I’m determined to see beauty in the simple things: a smile from a stranger, a clear blue sky, a run where you feel nothing can stop you, that connection you get when you’re with all your closest friends in a room, giving up your seat for an elderly person, a kiss from a loved one, a handwritten letter, a phone call just to say hi, a shoulder to cry on, an embrace from someone you haven’t seen for months, lighting candles, giving and receiving flowers, buying someone dinner when they don’t expect it, and most importantly, being vulnerable and opening your heart.
Nothing is guaranteed, so I cherish every breath, every laugh, every hug, and every experience I have. And the motto that gets me through this thing called life? Everything happens for a reason.

A College Thunderstorm

You know all the excitement and fascination that occurs right before a really big storm? I love that feeling. It wasn't any different all day today. Weather statements were given hours before the "big storm" arrived. I kept taking glimpses out the window to see the changing sky as it turned from sunny, to cloudy, to dark gray, to dark black. Then, a tornado warning was issued. It didn't phase me. I don't think it phased the campus at all. I stood on the balcony on my apartment, watching people go about their day as if there were no warning at all. I just wanted to see the storm begin.

I noticed the sky seemed to get as dark as it could be within seconds. Everything was at a standstill. There was no wind, no birds chirping. Then, out of nowhere, it happened. The winds picked up as Mother Nature huffed and puffed throughout campus. The rain swirled with the wind and I was then forced to go back inside. As I watched as the storm gained momentum and it began lightning and thundering, I suddenly got scared.

This has sort of been a constant occurrence, ever since I saw my first tornado in the summer of 1999 as my family and I were driving downstate Illinois. It was one of the scariest moments of my life. But still, I always get a bit excited when I hear there's a big storm coming; this feeling continues, until I really see the damage of the storm and how strong it really is.

My last month of college relates to all of this. This whole year, I've been a little anxious to graduate and experience this thing they call the 'real world.' I've heard it's not so bad, but then again, I've also had people to stay in college as long as I can. Either way, I've been excited to see what is to come. The beginning of the storm.

Then, the storm finally came. This past week, it really hit me. Hit me with ominous clouds, drenching rains, and thunder that made me just want to crawl in my bed for hours. I'm done with college in less than a month. Almost 3 weeks. What? What do I do? Stay strong and stay excited? Brave the storm? Or grab my umbrella, take cover, and hope the storm never comes?

Unfortunately, a storm never stops. It doesn't just dissipate into thin air. It continues on its way until it hits. I've realized I'm not escaping graduation, nor is the time approaching slowing down. What's a girl to do?

With storms and reality,

U of I = My "Vienna."

‎Slow down you crazy child,
You're so ambitious for a juvenile.
But then if you're so smart tell me why.
Are you still so afraid?
Where's the fire, what's the hurry about?
You better cool it off before you burn it out.
You got so much to do and only
So many hours in a day.

I was walking to class with my iPod on shuffle this afternoon and Billy Joel's "Vienna" came on. I honestly wasn't even sure what song it was at first so I curiously looked down to see. I for some reason continued listening, not knowing when I even downloaded the song. I started really paying attention to the lyrics; it was almost as if Mr. Joel himself was singing directly to me.

This semester in a nutshell describes the first verse of the song. My life has been a whirlwind. I always pictured my last semester consisting of blow off classes, day drinking, exercising every day to get in shape for graduation and summer, as well as going out as many nights as I could. However, that is far from the truth. Instead, I devoted my time to my 12 hours of class that turned out to be more busy work and attendance taking, my 20 something hours of work a week, as well as over 35 hours a week to the National Student Advertising Competition (NSAC). Some other fellow seniors probably think I'm crazy. They're probably thinking why I would voluntarily give up sleep, work instead of play, and sacrifice nights of going out to help create an advertising campaign.

But that's okay. Because I know when I look back on my last semester of college, I'll actually remember everything (okay, most of it). I'll actually have something to show and put on my resume. I'll actually be proud of something. I'll actually be proud of myself.

Back to Joel's lyrics. I've been burnt out many a times. But I also live by the quote "Better to burn out than fade away." I've learned the past four years at the University of Illinois to take every opportunity that presents itself. My motto has always been the cliche "work hard, play hard." This is a motto the industry I am going into lives by. I just figured, might as well get in the habit. I've learned that this University offers so much and so many don't take advantage of it. There is still so much more I want to do on and off this campus before I graduate, but I know that is not even physically possible. But I can still look back at my four years and smile and know that I have no regrets. I accomplished just about everything I wanted to here.

Even though I have accomplished so much, I often wonder, why am I still scared? I'm scared of the real world and all that it encompasses - the first 'real' job, real relationship commitment, the first move to my own place. I'm not lying when I say the future looks a little daunting. But I know, just like I realized my first day of college, I'll be fine. I'll figure it out.

With burn outs and accomplishments,

Live A Little.

All my life, my father has drilled the fact in my head that I should save my money. Save it for my student loans (that are currently looming and begin this November). Save it for a new car I will eventually need. Save it for my future. Save it...simply to save. Maybe I'm just naive and too focused on life to save my money. But is that so wrong?

I see life as a short opportunity. An opportunity where you learn, grow, and experience. Why should money get in the way of that? Ever since I can remember, I've realized that when I want something, I go and get it. I don't listen to anyone; I don't listen to rationale, advice, anything. I listen only to myself and what I want to do. And maybe that's wrong. And maybe that's why I sometimes get into trouble. Maybe that's why sometimes I feel a little lost. But frankly, I wouldn't have it any other way. I figure, it's my life and I'll do what I want with it.

Case in point - spring break vacation. My parents warned me I probably shouldn't be going on vacation. "You can't afford it. "You should save your money." "Just because you're getting a tax refund doesn't mean you should spend it." "Don't forget about those student loans.." Okay, I get all of that. And maybe I should be a little more responsible when it comes to money. But do any of you feel like you just want to experience the world? Live a little on the wild side? Take the chance and worry about the consequences later? That's how I feel.

I randomly went on a whim last night and impulsively bought plane tickets to Puerto Rico, as well as a hotel room for 4 nights for my spring break with one of my best friends. Smart? Maybe not. Awesome? I think so.

When will I ever have this opportunity again? Let's face it, this is my last spring break, as it is for many of you. This is the last time we can actually be a little irresponsible and worry about the consequences later. I like to think of myself as completely driven, responsible, and rational. And this is a vacation I need. A vacation where I can just relax, explore, and actually BREATHE. And you know what? I deserve it. And I can't wait.

With irresponsibility,

Spring.

The temperature is finally above freezing. The sun is finally happily shining. The birds are finally chirping. And the snow is finally starting to melt.

I cannot tell you how happy I was when I walked outside this morning to discover all of this the other day. This past winter has been remarkably brutal. I remember the first time it snowed back in December; everyone was so excited, especially to have a white Christmas. But now that the nostalgia of the pretty, falling snow has subsided, I know see the snow as unpredictably annoying and just plain ugly as it lies in heaps on the sides of the street. Oh, and have I mentioned that every time I have walked outside my apartment the past two weeks, I've prayed that I would not fall on the ice that coats every side walk on this campus, fearing for the sake of my life?

Needless to say, I am OVER winter. Especially if I can't even snowboard, which is completely impossible in this flatland part of the state. So knowing that spring is on the horizon makes me ecstatic. Spring means baseball season, perfect 60s and 70s weather, long runs outside, chipper birds and curious squirrels, and most importantly, more sun!!!

Don't get me wrong, I love the changing seasons. Winter is not a season I shun, but Mother Nature definitely gave all of us a little bit of a slap this winter with the harsh temperatures, high winds, and mounds of snow. The changing of winter to spring tends to symbolize a lot, especially for us seniors. It's just scary to think that the closer we get to spring, the closer we are to graduating. And that's not something I'm ready for.

With changing emotions,

A little change here, a little change there.

As I sit on my comfy single bed at home looking out at the winter wonderland outside, I can't help but feel a series of different emotions. 2011 so far has been a great year (I just got back from an amazing vacation in Colorado - went snowboarding and visited 4 of my friends). But as I look ahead at my year, I know I am going to face some significant changes in my life.

Half of my Chi Omega pledge class is abroad which is weird in itself and a few of those girls are some of my best friends. What am I going to do without them this semester? When will I even see them next since I'm graduating?

Which brings me to my next point - I'm graduating. I always heard college went "so fast" but never in the world would I have believed that. But now I do. It seems that the past four years have gone by so quickly that all the memories are jumbling up together. It scares the hell out of me that I am done with college in a short 4 1/2 months (not even). However, at the same time, it's exciting. I'll be starting a new chapter - the real world.

I have been actively searching and applying for jobs in different cities all over the U.S. I figure, the real world is scary enough, so why not brave it out in a whole new city where I know relatively no one? I see it as a challenge. Who knows where I'll end up, but wherever I do, I am anxious and excited.

I am back from Colorado, a vacation where I was able to sit back, relax, do something I love (snowboard), and enjoy the time I had with my friends I don't see very often anymore. Now that I'm home and back to reality, I am a bit sad. On the plane home I realized just how much has changed over the years, and just how much is changing as I even type this. But it's time to move on. Keep my chin up. And throw on a smile. Life is short and is constantly changing.

I may have some bittersweet memories occurring in the near future, but I know I am going to cherish every single one of them.

With bittersweet changes,