An Unexpected Surprise

Today was a beautiful day - a little chillier than usual - but nevertheless, a beautiful day.

And I didn't really take the time to get outside and enjoy it. I've been wallowing in self-pity for reasons that will go unmentioned. I tossed and turned all last night, dreaming about things I wish I didn't dream about. Anyways, I napped today, trying to make up for the lost sleep from last night. I then visited my grandma at the nursing home, which in itself is downright depressing. To see my grandma at 96 years old, her memory completely erased, and unable to barely feed herself pains me to my inner core. I didn't feel like myself today.

When I got home, my dad went out to the mailbox to get today's mail (that by the way, came extremely more late than usual). He came to my room - "Mail Delivery!" as he said. He handed me two envelopes. One of which was graduation pictures that I could honestly care less about. I have enough of those already. But the second envelope was addressed to me, with no return address. I figured it was a neighbor sending some money for graduation. That would have been nice. But it was better.

As I opened the envelope, I knew exactly what it was. It was the letter I had written myself four years ago in my British Literature class when I was a senior in high school. At the time, my teacher (who was actually student teaching at the time) told us on the last day of high school to get out a piece of paper out and a pen. I was confused. This better not be a last minute quiz, I thought. No. It wasn't. She told us to write a letter to our future selves. She promised to send them to us four years later when we were seniors in college.

Over the past four years, I've wondered about that letter. What did I write? Would I ever see that letter again? I honestly thought the letter was long gone. After all, how would a twenty-something remember to send 25 students letters four years later? She proved me wrong.

I anxiously unfolded my letter and began reading. It's amazing to see how much I've changed, but also stayed the same. I first go over my high school accomplishments - playing basketball and running track, taking AP classes (none of which I got credit for..lame), being in NHS and Students of Service and Teen Court, as well as holding four different jobs.

I then talk about the meaning of love. How I found love in high school and how I got hurt and suffered a major heartbreak. In my letter, I say that I hope I found someone who treats me right and that I'm happy with. I've had my fair share of great guys I've dated over the years, so I think that part applies to each of them.

My goals are the next part I mention. Ever since I was little, I thought I was going to be a writer. As a senior in high school, I aimed to be a famous journalist working at a newspaper, or a magazine, or as a news reporter for a television station. Funny how that completely changed. I quickly learned journalism was not for me, and I have found what makes me happy. Advertising. I am so excited to embark on my new journey working at a big-time media agency downtown.

My family and friends were the most important thing to me at the time. And they still remain that to me today. Many of the friends I listed in my letter are ones I continue to consider my best friends. I know that will never change. Those I lost contact with, I know it's meant to be. Because throughout college, I met some of the best friends I have ever had that I will continue to cherish the rest of my life.

Lastly, I talk about my journey to college. I tell myself to have fun because I'm too hard on myself a lot of the times. I can tell in my letter that I'm scared to start a new chapter with college, but I'm even more excited. I tell myself that I hope I've graduated college, am beginning my career, and thinking about a family. Uh...that all sounds great, minus the whole family part. Gotta find the man first!

Anyways, as corny as it is, I got tears after reading the letter. After the miserable day I had, this was just the thing I needed to make me feel better. After reading everything I had to say as an 18 year old senior, I know that as a 22 year old, I've accomplished much of what I wanted to four years ago. I still want to travel and see the world, but I know the time will come for that.

The teacher gave us the option to write another letter and she will send it to us in four more years. I didn't even have to think about it. I'm going to do it. And I offer a proposition for all you readers out there - think about writing yourself a letter. Hide it from yourself in a place you won't find it or look for it for a few years. You would be amazed how much you will have changed and blossomed when the time comes for you to find that letter.

With letters and the future,