This week, I became reacquainted with love. It's been a long 5 years, but I can safely say I'm still in love with that one person I met when I was only a sophomore in high school. They say first loves are never forgotten. Well, I can safely say that I can't live without my first love.
We've had our share of ups and downs and periods of dating different people. But despite everything, we've always managed to come running back to each other. And if that's not love, I don't know what is.
It's crazy to say since I'm only 21, but I can see myself with him in the future. And I'm crossing my fingers all works out. If not, I know that I've had a lot of great memories with him and I'll always, always hold a special place in my heart for him.
I just know that I've never felt this way with any other guy I've dated. There's been fun, there's been excitement, there's been trust in all my other relationships. But never butterflies. Never just smiling for no reason when I look at him. Never feeling the happiest I can be when I'm with him.
Love is such a remarkable emotion. And when you finally find it and have it, you want to immerse yourself in it. Wrap yourself up in it. And never let go.
Monday, November 30, 2009
Monday, November 16, 2009
The Book!
Well, it's getting to the point where I'm beginning to finish my book!!!!!! I am SOOO excited. It obviously still needs some work; I need to add more plot and detail, as well as figure out the chapters. But I definitely want to start looking into publishers now. Does anyone out there have any publisher connections? :) Help a girl out. PLEASE!
I began writing this book as a way to deal with what I was going through last summer, but it has turned into something much, much more. It's my pride and joy. I want to publish it because I know people can relate to a lot of the plot and the emotion within the book.
I have what I want the cover to look like too, but I'm going to have to do the cover again because I don't have the full file on my computer anymore, since it was on my computer that crashed last year. :( But here's what it looked like:
Kinda goes along with the title, "Wilted Love." I guess you have to read the book to get more of a sense of it! Hopefully you'll be seeing my first novel in stores in the next few years..if not sooner!!!!!
I began writing this book as a way to deal with what I was going through last summer, but it has turned into something much, much more. It's my pride and joy. I want to publish it because I know people can relate to a lot of the plot and the emotion within the book.
I have what I want the cover to look like too, but I'm going to have to do the cover again because I don't have the full file on my computer anymore, since it was on my computer that crashed last year. :( But here's what it looked like:
Kinda goes along with the title, "Wilted Love." I guess you have to read the book to get more of a sense of it! Hopefully you'll be seeing my first novel in stores in the next few years..if not sooner!!!!!
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Looks aren't everything.
So I was flipping through a random magazine today and came across an article written by a male columnist. His topic was on chemistry. Not the class subject chemistry, but the chemistry that is a mysterious wonder in the people we are attracted to.
He talked about how he met a really attractive woman, who he later went on a couple of dates with. He realized they shared a ton in common -- she was basically his dream girl, until he realized there was no "spark." He talked to his friends about it, and his friends advised him to break things off since it was wasting not only his time, but the girl's too. However, the columnist proceeded to keep things going and then became sexually involved with her. He said things were great, except 2 weeks later, he realized things had run their course.
So why hadn't he just listened to his gut feeling and his friends? Because he thought he had someone he thought he wanted. However, it's not just about looks and our ideal man or woman we are looking for. Usually chemistry happens when we least expect it.
Take my friend for example. She is attracted to a guy who isn't so attractive. She's been questioning her feelings and asking me for advice on the matter because she doesn't know exactly why she feels the way she does. I told her that sometimes we can't control our feelings. I also could have told her it has to do with chemistry. I've been attracted to boys I know I shouldn't be, especially the one that has treated me unfairly in the past. But no matter how bad he treats me, I'm still crazy about him. It makes me wonder why I can't be with guys that actually do treat me right and that are pretty perfect for me. Guess that has to do with chemistry too. There just hasn't been a spark with those various other guys. The "spark" is an unexplainable, unidentifiable thing we talk about, but we are able to distinguish its presence when we feel it.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that we need to stop having this idea in our heads of what and who is perfect for us. Because as far as I can see it, fate deals the cards and it's up to chemistry for a relationship to develop and ultimately last.
He talked about how he met a really attractive woman, who he later went on a couple of dates with. He realized they shared a ton in common -- she was basically his dream girl, until he realized there was no "spark." He talked to his friends about it, and his friends advised him to break things off since it was wasting not only his time, but the girl's too. However, the columnist proceeded to keep things going and then became sexually involved with her. He said things were great, except 2 weeks later, he realized things had run their course.
So why hadn't he just listened to his gut feeling and his friends? Because he thought he had someone he thought he wanted. However, it's not just about looks and our ideal man or woman we are looking for. Usually chemistry happens when we least expect it.
Take my friend for example. She is attracted to a guy who isn't so attractive. She's been questioning her feelings and asking me for advice on the matter because she doesn't know exactly why she feels the way she does. I told her that sometimes we can't control our feelings. I also could have told her it has to do with chemistry. I've been attracted to boys I know I shouldn't be, especially the one that has treated me unfairly in the past. But no matter how bad he treats me, I'm still crazy about him. It makes me wonder why I can't be with guys that actually do treat me right and that are pretty perfect for me. Guess that has to do with chemistry too. There just hasn't been a spark with those various other guys. The "spark" is an unexplainable, unidentifiable thing we talk about, but we are able to distinguish its presence when we feel it.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that we need to stop having this idea in our heads of what and who is perfect for us. Because as far as I can see it, fate deals the cards and it's up to chemistry for a relationship to develop and ultimately last.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Cheating
I was watching the Tyra show today (I was bored, okay?) and it was a segment on affairs and cheating. I was APPALLED when she said that 70% of people in relationships cheat. Seriously?
Here's my logic. I think no matter what, they're always going to be at least 2 people you are interested in. I've had countless relationships in my past, and I never was fully satisfied (not sexual, you pervs) emotionally. I am insecure, so I feed off attention to make me feel better. Sorry I'm human. Even when I was dating my high school sweetheart that I was irrevocably in love with, I still had little crushes on other guys throughout our relationship. I obviously didn't want to, but they were feelings I couldn't control.
And obviously, when people act on those tiny, and sometimes insignificant feelings, cheating occurs and as a result, feelings are running wild. You don't know whether to feel happy, guilty, upset...
I see cheating occurring all the time in the media on different TV shows here and there, as well as celebrities. And I'm aware of cheating that has gone on or that is going on with my friends or random people I know. What's sad is that I didn't know 70% of Americans are acting on feelings such as lust and desire to possibly ruin a perfectly good relationship. (Note: I realize sometimes some people cheat when they're in unhealthy relationships too..but duh...break up with your significant other then.)
Maybe this is why I have no trust in anyone.
Here's my logic. I think no matter what, they're always going to be at least 2 people you are interested in. I've had countless relationships in my past, and I never was fully satisfied (not sexual, you pervs) emotionally. I am insecure, so I feed off attention to make me feel better. Sorry I'm human. Even when I was dating my high school sweetheart that I was irrevocably in love with, I still had little crushes on other guys throughout our relationship. I obviously didn't want to, but they were feelings I couldn't control.
And obviously, when people act on those tiny, and sometimes insignificant feelings, cheating occurs and as a result, feelings are running wild. You don't know whether to feel happy, guilty, upset...
I see cheating occurring all the time in the media on different TV shows here and there, as well as celebrities. And I'm aware of cheating that has gone on or that is going on with my friends or random people I know. What's sad is that I didn't know 70% of Americans are acting on feelings such as lust and desire to possibly ruin a perfectly good relationship. (Note: I realize sometimes some people cheat when they're in unhealthy relationships too..but duh...break up with your significant other then.)
Maybe this is why I have no trust in anyone.
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