Maybe

I don't want to be the first to let it go
But I know, I know, I know
If you have the last hands that I want to hold
Then I know I've got to let them go

Maybe in the future, you're gonna come back, you're gonna come back around
Maybe in the future, you're gonna come back, you're gonna come back
The only way to really know is to really let it go

Ah, the lyrics to one of my current favorite songs by Ingrid Michaelson. Funny and ironic how it fits my life perfectly right now.

Many of us have already experienced our "first love." Some of us are still with that person. Some are completely over and moved on from that person. Or maybe, some of us are still lingering around the idea of that person and holding on for some reason.

I can't really say where I stand with mine. We're still friends, still talk every so often. I know our feelings will always be there - but is it the right thing to hold on? We've had several talks about getting back together, but there just hasn't been a right time. I thought holding myself off from other guys would get me closer to him. But I was wrong. It's just hopeless to think something's going to happen when in reality, there's a huge possibility it won't.

So now? "The only way to really know is to really let it go." We're in this life to find our significant other, no matter what age we are. I've noticed in college, that seems to be the least of people's worries. And honestly, it wasn't one of the things I was striving for the past couple of years, which is why I've been single. I wanted to focus on school, meeting people, making friends, making money to support myself. I had no time for a guy.

And I know I've said this in previous posts, but I think I'm ready. Don't get me wrong, I'm not desperate to find that special someone. But if someone happens to come around, I'm not going to think twice and wave the idea away. I'm going to open myself up and take it for what it is. And if it happens to be that first love, I will forget all of the bad things that happened with us in the past and start the relationship fresh from the start. But if it's someone else, I won't think "what if?" about my first love. I will give that boy my all and see where it takes us.

This life is definitely a mystery, as is the person you will be with the next few years or forever. Maybe, just maybe, he or she is standing right in front of you. Maybe.