Comfort Zone

I don't know, but I always get caught up in it. The texts, the phone calls, the lies, the broken promises. At this point, I don't know whether to admit to it because I'm still in love with him or if it's simply because I'm stupid.

Or both.

Because of all this, I've held myself back from everything and everyone else on this campus and in my life. I thought I was basically saving myself to be with someone great in the end. But what's the point, when in reality, you don't know the end result? I can't keep thinking that he'll magically appear on a white horse and whisk me off my feet. That's never going to happen. Maybe down the road, he'll pick himself up and realize his faults and come to me in his own way. I can only hope.

I want to believe everything he says and everything he does. But that's just being foolish. So I stepped out of my comfort zone, my safety net, and told him I just need to be left alone for awhile. I need to gather myself, my thoughts, and act on the things I haven't been doing the past years.

The comfort zone is safe, warm, and well, comforting. But I don't want that. I want unexpected, spontaneous, fun. I've been going over my head what's wrong with guys, when in actuality, the problem has been me all along.