A College Thunderstorm

You know all the excitement and fascination that occurs right before a really big storm? I love that feeling. It wasn't any different all day today. Weather statements were given hours before the "big storm" arrived. I kept taking glimpses out the window to see the changing sky as it turned from sunny, to cloudy, to dark gray, to dark black. Then, a tornado warning was issued. It didn't phase me. I don't think it phased the campus at all. I stood on the balcony on my apartment, watching people go about their day as if there were no warning at all. I just wanted to see the storm begin.

I noticed the sky seemed to get as dark as it could be within seconds. Everything was at a standstill. There was no wind, no birds chirping. Then, out of nowhere, it happened. The winds picked up as Mother Nature huffed and puffed throughout campus. The rain swirled with the wind and I was then forced to go back inside. As I watched as the storm gained momentum and it began lightning and thundering, I suddenly got scared.

This has sort of been a constant occurrence, ever since I saw my first tornado in the summer of 1999 as my family and I were driving downstate Illinois. It was one of the scariest moments of my life. But still, I always get a bit excited when I hear there's a big storm coming; this feeling continues, until I really see the damage of the storm and how strong it really is.

My last month of college relates to all of this. This whole year, I've been a little anxious to graduate and experience this thing they call the 'real world.' I've heard it's not so bad, but then again, I've also had people to stay in college as long as I can. Either way, I've been excited to see what is to come. The beginning of the storm.

Then, the storm finally came. This past week, it really hit me. Hit me with ominous clouds, drenching rains, and thunder that made me just want to crawl in my bed for hours. I'm done with college in less than a month. Almost 3 weeks. What? What do I do? Stay strong and stay excited? Brave the storm? Or grab my umbrella, take cover, and hope the storm never comes?

Unfortunately, a storm never stops. It doesn't just dissipate into thin air. It continues on its way until it hits. I've realized I'm not escaping graduation, nor is the time approaching slowing down. What's a girl to do?

With storms and reality,

U of I = My "Vienna."

‎Slow down you crazy child,
You're so ambitious for a juvenile.
But then if you're so smart tell me why.
Are you still so afraid?
Where's the fire, what's the hurry about?
You better cool it off before you burn it out.
You got so much to do and only
So many hours in a day.

I was walking to class with my iPod on shuffle this afternoon and Billy Joel's "Vienna" came on. I honestly wasn't even sure what song it was at first so I curiously looked down to see. I for some reason continued listening, not knowing when I even downloaded the song. I started really paying attention to the lyrics; it was almost as if Mr. Joel himself was singing directly to me.

This semester in a nutshell describes the first verse of the song. My life has been a whirlwind. I always pictured my last semester consisting of blow off classes, day drinking, exercising every day to get in shape for graduation and summer, as well as going out as many nights as I could. However, that is far from the truth. Instead, I devoted my time to my 12 hours of class that turned out to be more busy work and attendance taking, my 20 something hours of work a week, as well as over 35 hours a week to the National Student Advertising Competition (NSAC). Some other fellow seniors probably think I'm crazy. They're probably thinking why I would voluntarily give up sleep, work instead of play, and sacrifice nights of going out to help create an advertising campaign.

But that's okay. Because I know when I look back on my last semester of college, I'll actually remember everything (okay, most of it). I'll actually have something to show and put on my resume. I'll actually be proud of something. I'll actually be proud of myself.

Back to Joel's lyrics. I've been burnt out many a times. But I also live by the quote "Better to burn out than fade away." I've learned the past four years at the University of Illinois to take every opportunity that presents itself. My motto has always been the cliche "work hard, play hard." This is a motto the industry I am going into lives by. I just figured, might as well get in the habit. I've learned that this University offers so much and so many don't take advantage of it. There is still so much more I want to do on and off this campus before I graduate, but I know that is not even physically possible. But I can still look back at my four years and smile and know that I have no regrets. I accomplished just about everything I wanted to here.

Even though I have accomplished so much, I often wonder, why am I still scared? I'm scared of the real world and all that it encompasses - the first 'real' job, real relationship commitment, the first move to my own place. I'm not lying when I say the future looks a little daunting. But I know, just like I realized my first day of college, I'll be fine. I'll figure it out.

With burn outs and accomplishments,