Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Saying Good-Bye for Good.

You know the saying, "you live, you learn"?? Well speaking from experience, I lived, and I learned.

Friends, family, acquaintances...they ALL told me to be careful. "He's going to hurt you." "He's a jackass." "He screwed you over once; he'll do it again." "Don't trust him."

So what did I do? I didn't listen. I figured, this is my choice. It's my life. I knew I was putting myself in a vulnerable position, but I just had to know if there was a second chance for us, especially after all the years that had passed and we still had something there. Little did I know, it was a one-sided street. I actually don't know to this day if he truly meant everything he said, but my assumption is going to go with, I HIGHLY doubt it. Actions will always speak louder than words. I noticed certain actions that just weren't normal through our second-run of a relationship (if you want to call it that). I kept ignoring them though, because I was constantly reminding myself of all the good memories we had together. Those always canceled out the bad.

Well, long story short, I learned enough was enough. I finally put my foot down when I realized I really wasn't happy. How can a person be happy when you barely even talk to the person throughout the week and your relationship is basically a secret? No thanks. I'm not one to stay in a relationship just because I want a boyfriend. If you're not happy, GET OUT. And that's just what I did.

I learned today that the person that had a hold of my heart for a long six years has a new official girlfriend, just three weeks after us breaking up. Well, good for him. I'm not bitter. I lived. And I learned. I have no regrets because I learned we will never have a relationship - or friendship for that matter - in this lifetime. I've learned he's no good for me and I can do better. I've learned from my mistakes and am moving in a new direction.

It's weird that trials like these make you realize certain things in your life and how they put you into a new perspective. I'm doing just fine. I will be fine. I'm saying good-bye for good and will never look back.

With no regrets,

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Forgetting the Things We Love.

Okay, so I've been back and forth whether to start up this blog. I even switched over to Tumblr but quickly lost interest because I realized I was more interested in the actual writing, rather than posting pictures and videos (which the majority of Tumblr users do). Anyways, so here we go again. Let's see how long this lasts.

I've been thinking this whole day how I have relatively nothing due this week for school. For the first time in weeks. I do still have commitments here and there throughout the next two weeks until Thanksgiving break, but nothing compared to what they were the whole month of October. I can finally breathe. And let me tell you, it feels good.

So what am I going to do with the free time I didn't have before? Well, I can tell you two things. Two things I've pushed to the back burner because I haven't had the time to do them or haven't made the time to do them.

1) Run. I literally have not thrown on my running shoes for running specifically (and not just for walking to class) in over a month and a half. What?! That doesn't seem like me. I'm not a crazy-avid runner by any means, but I do enjoy running a few times a week on a normal basis. I've really missed it. The next two weeks, I'm really going to make an effort to get into a routine and start building up my endurance. Even though I have tendinitis in both of my knees, I really don't want that to stop me. I am going to push through. I'm going to bed early tonight so I can get up early and get an early jog in :)

2) Write. I began writing my book over 2 years ago. It's STILL not finished! I keep going back and adding more and editing it because I want to make it the best it can be. I literally have had no time to just sit down and really crank it out either. But now that I have two decently-long breaks on the horizon, I think I can get a lot done. And once I get a full-time job after graduation, I plan to pay to be self-published. I just can't let this book sit on my flash drive for another 2 years, if not more.

Our lives get so hectic, especially when we're balancing a different number of things. When this happens, we sometimes lose sight of what we really love to do. I'm not going to let that happen anymore.

Here's to starting off fresh and bringing back the love I have for running and writing.

With love,

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